AAI!!!! As jy blond is, is jy blond!!!

Gister kuier ek by ‘n vriendin, ‘n blonde een!!!  Baie onsteld vertel sy my die volgende storie!!!!  Skreeu snaaks!

Sy sit nog so lekker en tv kyk toe ‘n man van die munsipaliteit aan haar deur klop en sê  ” More mevrou, jammer om te pla, is U de Bruin?”  “Ja” sê sy…”Ek is mev. de Bruin, waarmee kan ek help?”  ” Mevrou, U is ‘n maand laat” sê die man heel kalm… “Wat? ‘N MAAND LAAT?  Wag ek gaan dit eers met my man bespreek as jy nie omgee nie”  “Seker..” Sê die man en is toe daar weg.

Haar man kom toe die middag by die huis… Sy vertel hom toe van die insedent en baie moerig vlieg hy daar by die munisipale kantore in…   Nou moet julle weet, haar man is ‘n lekker befokte mens ne!!  (Letwel: Hy is ook ‘n blonde kop)

“Hoe de vok weet julle my vrou is  ‘n maand laat?”  skree hy…

“Meneer, asseblief kalmeer, dit wys op ons rekenaars.” Proebeer die dame verduidelik.

“Op julle vokken rekenaars? Hoe de doner? Van wanneer af is hier voken dokters by ‘n munsipaleteit?” Skree hy weer.

“Meneer, ek verstaan nie lekker wat jy bedoel nie maar as jy nie gaan betaal nie sal ons maar moet afsny!”

“AFSNY?” vra die man verward..”Wat dan nou van my vrou?”…

(my vriendin sê sy kon sweer haar man staan daar met trane in sy oë, en hy is ‘n groot man!)

” Wel meneer, sy sal dan maar ‘n kers moet gebruik!”

Shame!!! Anneke was in ‘n toestand, sy het alreeds vier kinders en sien nie kans vir ‘n vyfde een nie, ag jinne en dan kan ek nie eers vir julle sê hoe sy gehuil het oor die kers nie, en Shane een moerse brombeer, jy kon met hom toor!! Dit het my amper ‘n uur gevat om hulle te verduidelik wat die mense bedoel het…

Dank Vader my krag is op datum!!

Begin die nuwe jaar die regte manier!!!

Hello aan al die bloggers hoop julle het ‘n “great” kersfees en new years gehad!!! Ek weet ek het!!

Voorspoed aan amal met die nuwe jaar mag julle alles hê wat mooi is!!

Nou wil ek eers ‘n mooi gedagte met julle deel voor ek begin lelik praat…

‘n Nuwe jaar ‘n nuwe begin…

“EK weet wat Ek vir julle beplan, sê die Here:  voorspoed en nie teenspoed nie; Ek wil vir julle ‘n toekoms gee, ‘n verwagting! Dan sal julle My aanroep, tot My kom bid, en Ek sal julle gebede verhoor.

– Jeremia 29:11-12

Daarsy mooi ne!!!

Veder het ek dit goed gedink dat julle nie nuwe jaar so begin om saam my te lag so hier is ‘n paar grappies.  Sorry vir die stoutes tussen in..  maar dit is moer snaaks!!!

WARNING!!!!

WARNING!!!!

WARNING!!!!

Vir die van julle wat nie stoutegoed laaik nie, moenie veder lees nie!!  Vir die van julle wat NOOIT vloek nie, moenie veder lees nie!!!!  Vir die van julle wat nie kan lees wat ek skryf nie, sorry ek skryf in “mxit taal” HAHAHA…. O, JA!!!! NO UNDER 18’s ALLOWED!!!!   So ek her julle gewaarsku!!! Vir die van julle wat die reels igroneer en nogteeds veder lees moet dan nie agterna comment op my taal of die goed wat ek geskryf het nie want EK VOEL ‘N VOK!!!

* two ladies meet for tea. one to the other ‘ did you come on the bus?’ other ladie ‘ yes but i made it look like an asma attack!’

* Janie sit opie sypaadjie met ‘n bottel swembadsuur. ‘n Engelse priester stap verby en vra

‘ son  what are you doing with that litle botle?’

‘ ek brand die miere oom’

die priester dink toe aan ‘n way om jannie te laat afsien van sy planne.

‘I’ve got a botle of holy water with me that you can rather put on the ants

i once put a drop on a womens belly and she passed a baby’

‘ daais niks’ se jannie, ‘ek het ‘n druppel van hierie goed op ‘n hond se ballas gesit

and he passed a kawasaki”

*  Jannie en pietie is in die malhuis. Verpleegster stap by Jannie se kamer en sien hom op die stoel sit en maak of hy kar ry. Wat maak jy? Nei ek ry in durban rond. Ag dis lekker se sy. Sy stap by Pietie se kamer in en vang hom met homself speel op die bed. Wat die fok doen jy, gil sy. Nei ek slaap saam Jannie se vrou want hy vok mos in durban rond.

*  Man sit op bank en lees koerant. Sy vrou moer hom met ‘ n pan oor sy kop ‘ eina vok waarvoor was dit?

Kwaai kyk en se ‘ dis vir die papiertjie in jou broeksak met die naam Peggy- Sue op’

die man kyk en se, ‘ dis ‘n perd waarop ek gebet het.’ ‘n Week later sit die man weer en lees toe sy vrou hom met ‘n pan oor die kop donner. ‘eina bliksem, wat nou weer?  Sy kyk hom woendend met haar hande in haar sye  ‘ jou fokken perd het sopas gebel’

*  Die ou het net lekker gesuip en kom by die huis, maak die voordeur oop en kots op sy hond.  Hy kyk af ‘ jus brakie wanneer het ek jou geeet?’

*  Op die ses uur nuus het die saak berig gepraat van ‘n swam in die water wat paddas laat vrek. Moet asb nie bad nie, gebruik eder die stofsuier.

*  Vrou kom in ‘n duur mat winkel sy buk om aan ‘n mooi mat te voel en los ‘n wind kliphard. Die volgende oomblik staan die assestent langs haar. Ongemeklik vra sy hoeveeL die mat kos. die assestent antw. mev as jy ‘n wind los as jy aan die mat vat, dan gaan jy defnintief in jou broek kak as jy die prys hoor.

* Piet vra vir siepho: Hoekom verkrag die swart man nie die koelie nie? Siepho antw: Eish! Want die houtkop is kak bang vir die panic button op haar voorkop.

* Kinders moet gogas skool toe vat. Jannie se ‘ die is ‘n grastor en hy bly  in die veld en eet gras. Pietie se ‘ hierie is ‘n boomtor, hy bly in die bome en eet blare. Kosie wys vir di klas en se ‘ hierdie is ‘n vibrator, ek weet nie waar hy bly nie maar my sussie se hy vreet batteries!’

* Dis nie meer ‘ ‘n bloubul eet nie van die vloer af nie….’ Dis nou ‘ ‘n blou snuif nie coke van ‘n hoer af nie’

* Die baas se vir sy blonde sekretaresse : Dit lyk my jou kop sit tussen jou bene!

Die volgende dag kom sy nie werk toe nie en ook nie vir die res van die week nie. Toe sy eindelik by die werk kom vra die baas haar waar sy was en sy antw : Jammer baas ek het biekie bloeding op die brein gehad.

*  Waar steek ‘n mens ‘n bier vir ‘n leeu weg? In die curribeker hul sal hom nie gou daar kry nie.

*  Vrou sit op die bus met haar kind, Die kind is verskriklik lelik en amal kyk en lag en point na ha arme kind. Op ‘n stadium kan die vrou dit nie meer hanteer nie en storm in trane by die bus af en gaan sit by ‘n koffie winkel.’n Man stap verby en proebeer haar troos hy gaan sit langs haar kry haar om op te hou huil en se: kom ons kry ‘n koppie koffie dan vertel jy my wat is vout. Hy roep die kelner en vra ‘twee koffies asb vir my en die dame en ‘n piesang vir haar klein apie.

*  Teazers gaan vir Joost springbok kleure toeken vir steek.  Hy het ‘n tert geseek, ‘n atleet opgesteek, Steve verby gesteek en sy familie in die skande gesteek.

Lekker gelag? Ek ook!!! En as jy nie wou saam lag nie, Ek voel nogsteeds ‘n vok!!

VOORSPOEDIGE NUWE JAAR JULLE!!!!

A love for LIFE

It’s in my blood; I flow with it.

It’s in my lungs; I breath it.

It’s in my heart; I feel it.

It fills my every cell; i thrive on it!

It’s all around me,; i see it, hear it, love it and truly need it.

It fills the world with wonder and touches everything.  I’ll fight for it, cherish it , share it and treat it like a KING! It is life!

A love for life has made me content to the core.  This love for life has brought good things to my door.  There are those who choose to run from life, hide from it or waste it!  I choose to embrace life, love it and make the most of it!

In return my life is one of peace, happiness and contentment.  Age has rewarded me with smile lines not frown lines and a life more precious than all the worlds gold mines.

My taste of  life is so delicious, that I am always hungry for more.  More to see, more to do, more to feel!

There is always more to life, if you have a love for life!

How do I see a mother?

When I was a little girl i used to think mothers is  aliens.. I could never understand where my mother came from, how can she always be there?  How can it be that my mother has eyes behind the back of her head? How is it that she always know what I’m feeling without me telling her..

Now that I’m older…  What does the term ‘mother’ realy mean to me?

I remember when I was a little girl, she had listened to nothing, but she heard certain things without listening.., strange!  I think angels can’t be everywhere, so God created mothers.  Now that I realize that everything my mother said and do was right, I’m hoping for a baby, who will probably, by the time he/she reach the age about 3-18, think everything I do is wrong.

No matter how much trouble I got in or caused, I could never understand why my mother doesn’t get angry.. I think the patience of my mother is linked to a tube of toothpaste – it’s never quite all gone.  I don’t think it’s easy to be a mother. If it were easy, fathers will do it.

My mother held my hand for a while, but my heart for ever..  Now that I’m older, my mother means everything to me, she’s now my mother and my best friend.. I’ve learned that when your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is mere formality.  It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no you’re goinig to get it anyway.

A rolemodel – my mother!!! Why?  My mother is a woman who speaks with her life as much as her tongue. Personally I think everyone who does’nt miss the past never had a mother.  I know that my mother carried me in her womb for nine months but she will carry me in her heart for the rest of her life.

The joy of motherhood:  is what my mother experienced when I was fast asleep in bed…Because the one thing I wore out faster than shoes was my parents..

The first gift my mother ever gave to me was life , the second was love, and the third was understanding. What more could a child ask for?

My mother is always there for me, she carries me through laughter, tears, sorrow, pain, joy and happiness,  my mother is a woman who shows me the light when I just see the dark.

I think to be a mother is to hold a nation. A mother’s hand is mightier than a king’s scepter.

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  – PROVERBS 31:10

I regard no man poor who has a godly mother.  A mother understands what a child does not say.

No I don’t think my mother is perfect, No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.

My mother always take care and think about people before she even thinks of herself.  I remember when I was still living with my parents, My mother was a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Fortune tellers – Eat your heart out for it is only mothers can think of the future – because they give birth to it in their children.

Motherhood:  All love begins and ends there.  There was never a great man who had not a great mother.

(HEHE)  There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it..

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘ Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all…’ – PROVERBS 31:28-31

When I think of all the things that I’ve done in my life, which I never thought I could do… Who was there right by my side telling me  ‘keep your head held high, shoulders back , look life straight in the eyes and give it your best baby!’ my mother!! Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible!!  One good mother is worth a hundred shoolmasters.

Mothers doesn’t have to work.  Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

To a child’s ear, ‘mother’ is magic in any language!!!!!